I'm Like

from by Heavy Jamal

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about

We don't know what our boy Proto was on when he spat these bars, but we want some. Since every rap album has a simile-heavy battle joint on it, we figured we'd just let Proto go nuts, et voila. Shoutouts to Joseph Conrad.

lyrics

I'm like, so bizarre, live off Pimms and roast zaatar.
Yoghurt on his stache, still mackin the whole bar.
I'm under par, underground, the Undermountain star,
goatish young fuck with gilt tongue and long ha'r—
Deep Blue beseecheth me till doom-used
by indigo wendigoes, ventin they screw juice.
I'm like "oooh"-proof, doin the right thing,
but you too! can turn mics to Mike-n-Ikes,
chewin till bruise-toothed—
Yeah, right, I'm like Gargamel, spittin out blue limbs.
Naw, I'm like Lord Jim, on the ship, garglin Pimm's
…Or the Joker goin raw on the pills again—
Oops, too soon? Whoops, blame it on Cartman and his friends.
I'm like shirts vers' skins, vers' sharkskin suits.
Marksmen know, I'm like three bullseyes after five Absoluts.
Course the truth is, truth's relative.
I'm like a drunk white Fela Kuti preachin elegance.
…Otherwise, fuck style and its elements.
I'm like a tornado, eatin styles, makin yours irrelevant—
I'm like a rococo force majeure… I'm like a house built entirely of backdoors!
(Yeah yeah. And Mangoose bring it on the 1s, 2s, 3s, and 4s.)

I'm like, "Girl, all I wanna do is kiss it.
I'm like, for real, all I wanna do is ask ya:
'You like me now? How do you like me now?
How do you like me now? How do you like me now?'"
I'm like, "Girl, all I wanna do is kiss it.
I'm like, for real, all I wanna do is ask ya:
'You like me now? How do you like me now?
How do you like me now? How do you like me now—now?'"

I'm like swing with no set,
or a sun composed entirely of one, fuck it, just came here for the wet—
[BLEEP] Shit—I meant to say the exposed necks:
Either get a gorget or learn to like it a little lacking in respect—
but never lacking class. I'm like the pied piper of a parade of fine ass.
Plus I'm like always eatin nice striped South Sea bass.
I'm like a walking monument to me own fits
of admittedly only ever three-quarters clever bullshit
spat like a thousand-mile-an-hour cricket bat
of aluminum through six inches of steel, so who needs guns?
Who needs DMT when you've got DJ Run?
Fuck it, gimme both, I'm off to the bogs—viva la FUN.
(And keep it comin, with Heavy Jamal… the Mangoose, on the 2s and 1s—)

I'm like, "Girl, all I wanna do is kiss it.
I'm like, for real, all I wanna do is ask ya:
'You like me now? How do you like me now?
How do you like me now? How do you like me now?'"
I'm like, "Girl, all I wanna do is kiss it.
I'm like, for real, all I wanna do is ask ya:
'You like me now? How do you like me now?
How do you like me now? How do you like me now—now?'"

I'm like, "Ooh la la la la."
I'm like, "Ooh la la la la laaa laaa."
I'm like, "Ooh la la la la."
Then I'm like, "Ooh—ooh—oooh la la la la laaa laaa."

I speak with confidence.
It's like every time I open my mouth the ground is rent in half as verbs devour shit.
Speak and destroy kids, then bring em back again.
I'm like the internet. I'm everyone's friend.
I'm everybody's threat, and I fuckin bet,
You are a little like me, cause life is hectic.
So learn to like the chaos and the calm inside of it.
For now, I'm gone, but not for long,
Yo, DJ—rewind this shit—

I'm like, "Ooh la la la la—"
I'm like, "Ooh la—" I'm like, "Ooh la—"
I'm like, "Ooh la—" "Ooh la—"
I'm like, "Ooh la—" "Ooh la—"
"Ooh—" "Ooh—" "Ooh—" "Ooh—"
"Ooh la la la la—"
"Ooh la la la la laaa laaa—"
I'm like, "Ooh la la la la—"
Then I'm like, "Ooh—ooh—oooh la la la la laaa laaa—"

credits

from SHINING SKY LOBSTER, released April 1, 2012

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